Time to Process

I have no idea how to end my final blog post.  I don’t think it’s possible to sum up my entire semester in just a few paragraphs.  I just finished circumnavigating the globe and seeing things and places that many people never will get the chance to see. 

It has been a long journey, I have been through a lot, and I have met a ton of amazing people.  It was difficult to say goodbye to them all and I didn’t get to see a lot of people on the last day since we were all preoccupied with packing our bags and making sure we didn’t forget anything.  I at least got to say ‘goodbye’ to all of the members of the Officer’s club.  We went out for lunch together with our families before we went our separate ways.  I miss them already, especially my sbffl (ship best friend for life), Liz K.  After being around her nearly 24/7, it’s weird that she suddenly isn’t here anymore.  She promised to come visit me this summer, though, so I am sure I will see her soon.

I am not quite home yet.  My mom and I decided to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon on the way home, so I won’t be home until tomorrow or the day after.  I am honestly a little afraid to go home and face all of the questions people are going to ask me…  “Was it fun?” “What was your favorite port?” “What challenged you the most?”  I don’t know how to answer any of these questions.  Yes, it was fun at times, but it was also insane at times, or scary or heartbreaking.  When I saw children begging on a train in India I felt as if my heart was going to tear apart because I could do nothing to help them.  It was always challenging.  There is no wa to answer these questions with a few simple sentences.  I know there are some people who, even now, will say I was simply on a cruise around the world.

On this voyage, I saw beggars in India and thieves in South Africa, I saw the Amazon rainforest and the Great Wall of China.  I saw cherry blossoms in bloom in Japan and the Taj Mahal.  I have seen proof that there is pain all over the world, but also beauty.  There is poverty and suffering, but also joy and people who love their lives.  I have seen how different cultures live and I understand how they can be happy even though they have very little.  I have seen different forms of exploitation around the world, but also hundreds of acts of kindness.

I have learned how to say ‘thank you’ and ‘hello’ in many different languages and how important it is to smile.  I have learned how to walk fast and to haggle merchandise to half the price. At the moment I feel as if I don’t fit in, though I know the feeling will begin to fade over time.  I need time to process what I have seen.  Whether is simply takes me a few weeks or several months to figure out what all I have seen means, I don’t know.

On my journey I have found friends that I know I will keep for the rest of my life and memories that I will never forget.  I learned a lot from the voyage, though I don’t know how I have changed through the experience, or even if I have changed at all, I feel like I have gained a new kind of cultural understanding that I didn’t have before.  For years I have thought that I wanted to spend my life traveling and writing and this journey has reinforced that desire.  I don’t know how to explain the things that I have seen or even what I think of them, but I know I have a lot more exploring to do.  Someday I will be able to look back and how this voyage has changed me and affected my life, but for now I need time to process.